Live a Little
by ShatteredRhapsody
Summary: Formally known as "Frenemies" Dedicated to my fellow *coughstalkerscough* Fangirls. Watch as a delusional Narutard falls into Konoha. Thought it was all fun and games? Well it is, but not the way you would think. Rated M for suggestive themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: CRACK FIC!! Or not…I dunno. I'm just bored and I've been tossing around this idea for a while. You be the judge. If you hate it, don't bother wasting window space by reviewing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Otherwise, this disclaimer would be useless.**

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You couldn't blame me for this. Honestly, no one could. Was it really my fault I became a Narutard? Yeah…it probably was. That's what got me into this mess. There I was, reading some of my favorite stories when BAM! Lights go out in my brain. It was sad really, I had just finished reading Push Pops by Mahi-Mahi and _damn_ was that lemon freakin' _HOT!_

Actually, I think that much smut must have fried my brain and put me into a vegetative state. Either that or I must have been dreaming when I woke up and a humono-jungo Akamaru was licking my face.

"Eeeeeeyaaaaaah!!" I must have jumped a foot high before I crashed back down on a twisted ankle. "Oh my God…." Was I scared? Oh, no….far from it. "KAWAII!" I squealed and wrapped my arms around the dog's neck. "Oh, who's a good doggy? You are!"

"Oi! Akamaru! Where are you, buddy?" I almost died. _Holy shit, that's Kiba! I'm in anime heaven! _Using the mutated mutt to stand, I let out a yelp when I discovered that I _couldn't_ stand. Why? Why have the Gods forsaken me?!

"Aka—Oh. Hey are you okay?" I was goo. Complete and utter goo. I never thought of Kiba as drop dead gorgeous—you know, like Neji-hot or Itachi-shmexy hot—but he was still cute.

…in that animalistic wild nights of hot sex kind of cute.

"H-Hai. I just twisted my ankle." Thank the lord for Japanese. I would have been completely lost without that class. Although at the time, I couldn't understand how I could _understand_ what he was saying. Confusing, right?

Now that I think of it, I must've looked a little strange. I mean, how often does a Filipino-Chinese mixed almost 18 year old wander into Konoha? On top of that I was wearing grey sweats, a white-beater and black geta sandals—courtesy of a few bribes in anime-cons. And just how often did Asians like me—psychotically cute and crazy—explain my layered dark brown hair with its random streaks of blonde, reddish-brown, and bits of orange? **((A/N: True story. I tried highlighting my hair myself and it ended up that way. Parts of my hair is blonde TT XD))**

"Soo desu ne. Ano…I haven't seen you around here before. Are you new to Konoha?" For some reason, his words made me cry! Me! Who believes that crying is below me and only meant for the weak!

Well whatever the reason, I began to bawl my eyes out. "H-H-Hai. I'm n-new but only b-because I'm lost! I was just sitting at home, reading my f-f-f-favorite story when BAM! A-And I w-wake up h-h-heeeere." I wailed that last bit. I cried loud and proud and I'm pretty sure I woke up half of Konoha with that kind of caterwauling.

And lo and behold, there was an ominous POOF!

"Oi. What's the meaning of all this noise, Kiba-kun?" My sobs increased—only these were happy tears and the two shinobi weren't able to tell. _Oh my God! Kakashi-sensei is freakin' gorgeous! Squee!_

I felt Akamaru's nose nudging my hand. I think he was trying to comfort me. I wiped my eyes with the back of mind hand and tried to look as pitiful as possible. "I-I'm lost…I don't…I don't know how I got here." In my hometown, I was infamous for my glare of doom; my puppy eyes weren't even close to earning that kind of reputation, but they were pretty close.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Hey, don't cry. Look, we'll take you to see the Hokage. I'm sure she'll be able to help you." I sniffled—it was either that or start snickering. Hook, line, and sinker. Suckers.

"R-Really?" I was praying that there were little sparkles in my eyes and around me. If I was going to be in this anime, then damn it I better get my way!

"Kakashi-sensei. She twisted her ankle. I don't think she can walk, can you…eh? I forgot to ask your name. I'm Inuzuka Kiba." Mentally, I was scrambling to come up with a name. Especially a name that could resemble mine! _Ah…think damn you!_

"Ano…I'm Takaida Nami." Whew! Saved myself by using an rp character. Thank the lord above for Gaia! **(A/N: Yes, I'm shamelessly promoting Gaia on my own fanfic XD))**

I leaned against Akamaru for support. I didn't understand why there were little dark spots in front of my eyes. I thought that only happened when you stared into the sun and the world goes purple for around five minutes and…

"Takaida-san!"

I think I fainted.

At least I think I did. I woke up in a hospital bed, the enormous bosom of the Godaime hovering above my face.

"Ah, so the little stranger is awake! You had quite the skull fracture there."

It took about .05 seconds for my brain to spark back to life. "NANI?! A skull fracture?!" Damn. So I really _did_ hit my head. Bummer.

"Aa. Kakashi told me that you aren't from Konoha and that you mysteriously showed up here."

She sounded suspicious. But what the hell did _I _do? Sitting up, I blinked away the pain and focused my Glare of Doom onto her. "If you want to know, I didn't do anything to get here! I was just sitting at home reading a book and then everything goes black. Next thing I knew, there's a giant dog next to me and that's it!"

If I had to judge, I was having a standard-class hissy fit. Yes, there are different types. Mine was more hysterical than most, but it wasn't _my_ fault I got transported into another dimension. And damn it all, I had the strangest Mary Sue feeling. But I didn't want to be a Sue! I just wanted to drool over the hotties, honest!

**A/N: Gah…I can't do it anymore. I'm switching to Normal POV. -.-**

Tsunade looked down at the poor deranged teenager. This girl was under a mountain of stress and the Godaime had the feeling that she wasn't making it any better.

"There, there. Hey, it's ok. Look, how about we find you a place to stay tonight and we'll talk in the morning. You name is Nami, right? I'm Tsunade."

The well-endowed woman gently patted the girl's hand, who in response, latched onto her like a frightened child. "Arigato, Oba-san."

Nami knew she might have been pushing her luck by calling the Godaime "Auntie" but it was better than calling her Granny.

Tsunade felt her heart melt inside. Nami was handling her situation fairly well considering her circumstances. While the teenager dressed, the Hokage studied her physique. She was nicely built; lean with some muscle but a little on the skinny side. Mentally, she knew the girl had to be holding on by a thread. She needed a strong family to stay with, but also a caring one. Her first thoughts were to take her to the Hyuuga compound, but thought better of it. The Hyuuga Clan would probably break the poor girl. So that left…

Nami only half-paid attention to where Tsunade was taking her. She just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. And besides, it was too dark to see where they were going—

"Oof! Gomen, Oba-san." Nami apologized after walking into Tsunade, who stopped at the front door of a house. She reached into her hair and pulled out the simple hair clip for a moment. Twisting the top half of her hair into a bun, she clipped it down and straightened her top. She had the feeling that Tsunade would like her to be presentable.

"Nani…oh, Tsunade-sama. What brings you here to the Nara home so late at night?"

Nami's jaw hit the floor. _I'm going to be staying with Shikamaru?! Why! Why couldn't I have stayed with Kakashi or at least Naruto?!_ She quickly composed herself when she heard her name being called.

"Hai, Oba-san?" Tsunade had put her hands on her shoulders and nudged her towards Shikaku.

"Alright, Nami-chan. You'll be staying with Nara-san and his family until we can find you your own place. Now be good and don't get into any trouble." She made Nami feel like a kid again. _Sheesh, what do I look like, a four year old?_

Nara Shikaku looked like one scary shinobi from Nami's point of view. Then again anyone taller than her 5'4" stature looked huge and scary.

"Well, Nami-chan. I guess we should get you settled. Yoshino! Shikamaru! We have a guest!"

She stayed quiet. She wasn't quite sure how to react—not when her brain was on system overload and her body was telling her to just go with the flow so she could sleep.

"Who is it, dear? It better not be Inoichi or Chouza—Oh. Hello there." Nara Yoshino was surprised to see a young girl she had never seen before.

"Yoshino, the Godaime wishes for us to house Nami-chan here until she can get her own place. Isn't that right, Nami?" He noticed how tired she looked. Introductions were going to have to be rushed.

"H-Haaaii," she yawned and blinked her dark brown eyes wearily.

"Oi, Otoosan, if it's Chouji tell him that…That's not Chouji." She definitely wasn't Chouji, or one of the Rookie Nine.

His father nodded, "Shikamaru, this is Nami. She'll be staying with us for a while, so if you don't mind…give her your bed." Shikaku noticed how his son was about to protest but he cut him off before he could get started, "It's getting late and it's time for bed." Which translated to: shut up and give her the bed.

"Fine. Follow me, Nami-san." He gave an exasperated sigh and led her up the stairs.

Nami could only nod. She was exhausted from just the stress, and it was weighing down on her eyelids.

"Well, here's my room. You can take the…bed." She just walked right past him and collapsed onto his bed. She was deep asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

"You're a strange one, Nami-san." He whispered as he pulled the blanket over her.

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**A/N: So that's it for now. Review if you like it, ignore it if you don't. This might be a little AU. I haven't decided yet.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Holy crap I actually got another chapter done. YAY! Anyway, hope you don't mind the switch from First P.O.V. to Third…It's fun for me. Oh and if you haven't noticed....this will be strictly AU  
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**BOLD CAPITALS **sound effects or actions  
_Italics_ thoughts

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There are several ways to roll out of bed. More specifically, your own bed. There's the tuck n' roll, where you tuck your body because there's a piece of furniture beside your bed that you really don't want to brain yourself on; and there's the confused roll. This particular roll is a once and every now and then occurrence. You have just woken up and you have no idea which side of the bed you're facing, so you take a chance and roll one way; however, if you roll the other way, you face the risk of becoming acquaintances with a wall.

Lastly, is the way I woke up the morning after my crash-landing into Naruto World. I was sleeping in a bed that was way too comfortable to be mine. That and it had the distinct scent of something male. Something my bed was severely lacking, but that's another story. Anyway, the roll I ended up doing was something I liked to call "Woman-Meets-Cold-Water-Then-Crashes-Onto-Ground". Long name but dead on.

Normally, I'm a light sleeper--I got my family's late night parties to thank for that--but after reading some steamy fanfiction, followed by meeting Kiba, Kakashi, and freaking Tsunade of all people, then imposing on the Nara family...well, it's no wonder my body shut itself down. I was beat, and that had to be the understatement of the freakin' century. but this time, I slept like the dead and by some cruel trick of Fate, it was Naruto himself who snuck into the room via the window with a bucket of ice water. I wasn't even half-awake when he stood over me, thinking I was Shikamaru--probably because I was cocooned by the blanket--then promptly yanked the blanket off the bed and threw the water on me.

"Wake up, Shikamaru! You're late for the party--Uh oh..."

The second the blanket's warmth left me, my eyes shot open and I could only watch in horror as the frigid water came in contact with my heated skin. I screamed/shrieked loud enough to make a Banshee proud, then sprang off the bed away from him. It probably wasn't my best move to make, considering I had jumped onto the window sill in an effort to get away, but by the way Naruto's eyes widened in shock, and by the pull of good ol' gravity, I found myself starting up at the bright blue sky before stars exploded in front of my eyes.

"Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph...how in the Hell did I get outside?" I asked the sky. It was too bright for it to be morning, so I guessed that it was maybe lunch time. I was definitely hungry, and I could definitely hear raised voices from inside the house. And speaking of voices...

"Miss? Can you hear me?" I turned my head, which hurt like the Devil, and saw one of the many ANBU kneeling beside me. I couldn't see their mask, my eyesight was blurry and I was shocked when I realized I was crying. Just how pathetic was I going to get? Trust me, I was an emotional wreck.

"I hurt," was the only intelligible thing I managed to say before I brought a hand to the back of my head, only to feel warm liquid. I closed my eyes, knowing exactly what it was.

"Miss, I know it hurts, but can you tell me what happened? And why you're at the Nara residence?" I really didn't feel like answering; I mean, what the Hell? Was the guy just going to sit there and let me bleed out?

"Nami!" Nami? Who the Hell was--Oh, right. That was the name I gave myself. But that sounded a lot like Shikamaru...

"ANBU san, why haven't you taken her to the hospital yet? She fell from a window!" Oh, so that was what happened. Damn Naruto. I didn't care if he was a misunderstood Jinchuuriki, it was still his fault that I was cold, injured, and bleeding to death outside.

"I didn't know the circumstances of her injury. I needed to find out before I took her so I could explain to the doctors."

It took a lot of effort, but I managed to open my eyes and glare at the two men beside me. I cleared my throat to get their attention. "Excuse me, but I could possibly be dying from blood-loss while the two of you talk each others ears off. Now, if you would be so kind," God it hurt to stand, but I pulled it off somehow, "I have a hospital to get to." I took one step and blacked out.

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I hate hospitals.

Therefore, I hated them even more when I woke up in one. There were bandages wrapped around my head and several band-aids placed on my arms. Well, at least I learned something from my accident. "Falling out of second-story windows should never be experienced," I mumbled under my breath.

"I should hope not," said a voice to my left. I turned my head and gave him a small smile.

"Shikaku san, good morning."

It was touching to see his brows furrow in what looked like worry. His hand enveloped one of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's actually early afternoon," he muttered, making me chuckle a little. "But how are you, Nami chan? Do you need anything?"

Did I? Need anything, I mean. I wasn't sure, so I shrugged and asked, "Can you tell me what happened?"

His eyes darkened, but he nodded and sat down beside me. "Shikamaru was in the shower when Naruto came into the room to wake him up, but he didn't know that it was you who was sleeping." I nodded since it was understandable and let him continue. "According to him, he only meant to surprise Shikamaru with a bucket of ice water, but he didn't expect that the surprise would make you jump out of a window."

"I didn't mean to jump out! I just kind of...fell out of it." Lame, I know. But how are you supposed to act after what I had been through?

"I know, Nami chan, I know." It wasn't fair. He shouldn't have been giving me the worried father look. Little expressions like that always got to me. So I closed my eyes and relaxed against the pillows.

"I'm tired...when do I get out of here?"

"The doctor said tomorrow morning. I have a mission, so Yoshino will be here to pick you up. I think she bought you some clothes too..."

I think I really did fade out for a while, because the next time I awoke, it was dark and I was starving. I'd take starving in the Mojave Desert over starving in a hospital. That way, if I died, I would be able to feed a bunch of wild critters. But if I died in a hospital...how would that help anyone? Weird, I know but that's how I felt.

I had always read in other fanfiction that there were nurses who worked night shifts, so maybe I would get lucky. "Hello?" Now let me tell you, echoes are fun, but not when you're alone in an empty hospital room. "Nurse? Hello? Is anyone there?!" I was about to start hyperventilating when a light in the hallway flicked on. I nearly wept with happiness when the door opened, but almost fainted when a creepy middle-aged man walked in. And by creepy, I mean he was leering at me the way Jiraiya leers at a bath house. It was _disturbing_.

"Hey little girl, is your mother around?"

I gagged at that. I felt like retching as he slowly got closer.

"N-N-Nurse!" I did not want him anywhere near me. "Someone! Nurse!" I had already started crawling out of bed and away from him.

"Don't worry, little girl, Tsuyoshi will take good care of you..."

Fuck it. I was getting out of there. and if that meant heading towards another window, then so be it. At least this one was on the first floor. At least I thought it was. I stumbled towards it and groaned in disappointment when I saw how far below the ground was.

That's when I felt a cold, bony hand grope my breast from under my hospital gown. I completely froze as I felt warm air puff against my ear. "Little girl..."

I screamed. Screamed and screamed and tore myself away from his grasp. I couldn't stop screaming for him to get away from me; I kicked in his general direction and crawled towards the door. God, everything hurt. My head was still tender and my limbs felt heavy.

"Tsuyoshi will have you, yes he will. Tsuyoshi will taste the little girl..."

I shuddered and kept crawling. I had made it to the doorway when a handful of my hair was yanked back inside the room. this felt too much like a horror movie to my tastes, and I practically followed the script by kicking up the screams several octaves higher. Where the Hell were the nurses? I couldn't rescue myself in this kind of situation!

Something warm and wet brushed my cheek, making me gag and twitch. That had better not be his tongue, I repeated to myself over and over as I struggled to escape. "Don't touch me! Dirty old pervert! Let go of me!" I shouted as I slapped at his face and poked at his eyes. "Damn useless ANBU! Can't even save civilians in a hospital--OUCH!" The bastard pushed me back hard enough that I smacked my still tender noggin against the tiled floor. This time, I only saw stars and a flash of silver...

Wait, silver?!

"Why the Hospital insists on treating a convicted rapist in such an insecure ward is beyond me." I knew that voice...from somewhere, I think. I heard a loud grunt followed by a soft thump sound before a gloved hand stroked my cheek. "Hey. Look at me."

I had to blink several times before my vision cleared. "Oh, I know you," I murmured stupidly. Well of course I knew Kakashi, that voice was sex on the air for me.

"Is that right? I don't recognize you from anywhere. Why don't you tell me your name?" Didn't I tell him? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I couldn't remember.

"N-Nami," I breathed and blinked slowly. "I arrived yesterday, remember?" Ugh, I should never stay in hospitals ever again for fear of convicted rapists.

Yuck.

"So that was you--Hey! Don't fall asleep on me, Nami san. I don't know if that head injury is really serious or not. Focus on me." He actually looked concerned. Well that was a first. I thought the only people he got concerned about were his team and fellow shinobi. Or maybe my not-so-secret-secret crush on him was making me over-analyze things? Good Lord, I had issues. Not saying that I don't now...but back to Kakashi.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and when he looked insulted, I rolled my eyes up at him. "You look like the type of person who avoids hospitals like they were a plague." And he did look it. His visible eye had that wariness and paranoid look to it. As if Death itself was creeping up on him whenever he walked into a hospital or got near one.

"Perceptive kid, aren't you?" I hope that was sarcasm speaking. I wasn't a kid! Hell, I turned 18 in a few weeks! He must have seen my scowl because he chuckled and I damn near melted on the floor. the man was too hot for words; life just wasn't fair.

"M'not a kid," I muttered and slowly sat up. "and look, I'm okay. So I'll just go back to bed and--" I shouldn't have looked. Kakashi had tied the pervert to the bed. Why? Why me? "Never mind.." I stared at the ground in dismay. I was so screwed. If I thought that being in Naruto would have been fun, then I was so wrong now. I was a no one in a legion of idiotic (and slightly rabid) fangirls who instantly assumed that life would be better in another world. Like I could really just drop everything in my life to go on some big adventure...

"Those must be some deep thoughts, Nami san," I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and nodded to confirm his statement. "Care to share?" I shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth, so I dug up one of my previous passing thoughts.

"Just thinking of what to do next. I can't go back to bed without being violated and i have no place to go since I'm guessing it's late..." and that's when it hit me. I had gotten the most brilliant and selfish idea ever. "Can I spend the night at your place?"

He looked so surprised and completely shocked that I had to fight not to laugh. He ran a hand through his gravity-defying hair. "I don't think that's wise. What about the family you're staying with? They'll find it inappropriate that an injured young woman is staying at an old man's place."

"You're not old!" I blurted and since it was a little too late to take it back, I just kept on trucking. "And you're a shinobi aren't you? Shikaku san would totally understand that you could protect me!" He still looked ready to try and argue so I waved him off. "No, listen. You could have been from a mission, or taking a late-night stroll. Hell, you could have been saving a cat from a nearby tree and heard my screams! See? I could make the story work!" I was on the verge of begging when the bed creaked and Tsuyoshi's voice cut me off.

"Oh, little girl..."

I couldn't help it. I shrieked. I completely flipped out and latched onto Kakashi. I clutched his jounin vest and buried my face against his neck. Looked like I had to play the damsel in distress card. Not that I had to, I was that scared. "Please, Kakashi san? I hate hospitals and I hate being here." Lord almighty, this man smelled delicious. You know, sometimes it amazed me that despite being scared shitless, I could always think about hot men and sex.

I tried not to purr against him as he reluctantly wrapped his arms around me. Please don't push me away, I mentally begged and was relieved when he adjusted me so he could summon Pakkun.

"Kawaii..." I whispered at the sight of the nin-dog. It really was too cute for words.

Both males ignored me--not that I minded--and Kakashi pointed to Tsuyoshi. "I need you to stay the night and make sure he doesn't get away. Tell the nurse that Nami san here will be guarded by me and is staying with me until the Nara clan picks her up. Got it?"

Pakkun nodded mid yawn. "A-_Awwwn'right_, Kakashi. Have a good night." He shook his body and settled down beneath the bed; it wasn't even a minute when we heard snores, so I had to ask the obvious:

"Are you _sure_ that he won't let him get away?" I knew that Pakkun was trustworthy, but his current situation as a guard was a bit lacking.

I squeaked as he stood with me in his arms. You would squeak too if one hand was cupping your butt, while the other settled on your lower back. Hell, I tried not to blush and just thanked the hospital fro letting me have some underwear on. And they were my lucky panda panties too!

"Don't worry. Pakkun will let me know if anything happens. Hold on." I let out a surprised yelp when he leaped out the window. Oh, Lord did I have a new respect for ninjas. I think he must have used the shunshin no jutsu midair because I had a leaf stuck over my eyes and when I pulled it off, we were a good distance away from the hospital.

"It's a nice night," I stated lamely, to which I got an answering, "Mm" in reply. "You know," I shrugged, "despite being assaulted by a convicted rapist in a creepy, dark hospital." I felt his shoulders tremble. Who knows what it could have meant, so I took it as as laugh. It could have been anything, really, but what he said next proved what I believed.

"And people wonder why I hate hospitals," he said quietly to himself. But I heard it, and it sent me into a fit of giggles. I leaned my elbow onto his shoulder, and rested my chin on the heel of my palm. "It's not like you have to worry about getting raped. I don't think _he_ swung that way."

He rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "And what makes you so sure?" How was I sure? Psh. Please, like that was hard to answer. I scoffed, "Easy. My Gay-dar would have gone off. And trust me, _he_ was definitely straight. Creepy, but straight." I think I might have freaked him out a little because I experienced one of those long, awkward silences. And it lasted up until we reached the front door to his apartment. Now let me tell you, waiting for a drop-dead gorgeous shinobi to unlock and open a door, while freezing my little behind off in panda panties and a hospital gown was way uncomfortable. I all but ran inside the second the door was open.

"What?" He was still standing by the door staring at me like I was nuts. "It's _cold_ outside, Kakashi san! And in case you haven't noticed, I'm practically _naked_ here!" Those were probably not my wisest choice of words to say, 'cause his entire body stiffened and he closed his eye. By the way he was breathing, I'm guessing he was counting down from ten. Or maybe fifty.

"Um..." Egad, of all the stall words to use, I used the most obvious one. But it did get his attention...I think. "Kakashi san? Where...where should I sleep?" Please let me get the bed. Please let me--

"You can have the bed." He sounded...tired. Well, no duh, it was pretty late. That and I think I might have annoyed him. Alright, fine. I seriously annoyed him.

"Oh...um, thank you." I gave him a bow of appreciation and walked down the small hallway to his room. I was about to open the door when I remembered something. "Kakashi san? Is it all right if I borrow some clothes to sleep in?" I heard a muffled "go ahead" but it might have been "go to bed." Either way, I had to fight my inner fangirl instincts and held back the high-pitched squeal that was trying to escape my lips. I was in Hatake Kakashi's apartment. Hell, I was in his _room!_ And it was...plain.

Horrendously plain.

And yet I was strangely still attracted. All that was in the room was a bed, a bookshelf, and a shelf under the window. Huh. So it really was like in the manga...framed pictures of his old and new team, his Icha Icha collection--I made a mental note to get into that--and the dead plant Ukki kun. That meant... "Clothes are in the closet!" Damn, I was obvious tonight. I was also right; there were several small dressers in the closet. I tried not to scream when I found his boxer drawer. Aw yeah, you heard me. _Boxer_ drawer; I was in freakin' fangirl heaven.

Not really, but I was close to it.

I managed to find some sweat pants and a long-sleeved shirt. The sweats were a little long--Kakashi _was_ kinda tall--which wasn't all that surprising, but the shirt...oh my gawd, I had to steal this man's laundry detergent. It smelled..._manly._ It was fresh, delicious, and oh-so-snugly warm that I tried not to gush with happiness. I immediately dove under the covers of his bed and nearly went comatose in pure bliss. Oh, it was soooo comfortable...no wonder he was always late. Hell, with a bed like this, I'd never want to leave either! My last train of thought was that his bed was a total sex scene waiting to happen.

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**A/N: Yay! 3rd person POV!**

Kakashi woke to the sound of muffled laughter and a painful ache in his back. _Not surprising since I fell asleep on the couch. _He heard giggling float down the hall. Sitting up, he noticed a small stream of light from the direction of his bedroom door. Rising to his feet, he silently made his way to the door; it was cracked open a good 6 inches, enough for him to peek at the strange teenager who had spent the night.

He shouldn't have looked.

Nami lay on top of his bed covers, bathed in the morning light that slipped through the window blinds. His sweats hung low on her hips, while his shirt rode high on her ribcage. Life just wasn't fair. She wasn't even his type. Why was he even attracted? _Why am I even thinking like this?_ She wasn't toned like other girls he knew, and was far too childish for his liking. **((A/N: There's no pairings in this fic, so get that idea out of your heads))**

Her outrageous laughter was coupled with her legs kicking, and a flash of orange caught his eye. If he was any other man, his jaw would have dropped. His book. _His_ Icha Icha was in the hands of a teenager. A teenager...who was laughing hysterically?

"Oh, come on! No _real_ man can last that long without completely passing out. Totally unrealistic! And she is such a fake...don't tell me every girl resembles the Godaime...that practically screams stalker material..."

_I think Jiraiya should see a therapist about his obsession,_ thought Kakashi. Sure, he had noticed the similarities among every heroine, but he never actually matched them up to Tsunade before.

"Egad, does this guy even know what he's doing? No! Don't change the angle, you moron! That's right when it starts getting _good_--Auurrgh! I can't read this anymore!"

He had to admit, she did look...appealing when she had her little fit. She had an arm thrown over her eyes, while the other lay on the bed. At least she hadn't thrown the book.

"You know, Kakashi san, it's impolite to stare." Nami didn't have to open her eyes to know he was there. His scent alone ensnared her attention the minute he walked into the room. She felt the bed dip under his weight and felt the book being tugged from her fingers.

"I was not staring," he stated as he leaned back against the pillows, "I was merely observing your behavior." She cracked an eye open just in time to see him find his place in the book. "Nami san, you really shouldn't be reading something this inappropriate--"

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "Please. I write better smut than that guy. The best smut comes from the experienced _and_ deprived. It also comes from those who were severely disappointed with previous partners and wrote about how the sex could have gone better." She said it so matter-of-fact that Kakashi stared for a moment before closing his book and setting it down.

"I really don't want to know how you know that, seeing as how you can't be a day over fifteen--Hey!" She was beating him over the head with his own pillow. He loved--oops, Kakashi isn't allowed to love--no, he had a great sense of affection towards that pillow!

"That is so--**SMACK!**--damn--**SMACK!**--unfair! **DOUBLE SMACK!**" She shot to her feet and started to pace around his room. "I know people think _you're_ old 'cause of your hair, but really, who are you to judge?! For your information, _old man_, I turn eighteen in less than two weeks!" She stopped pacing long enough to glare at him before she plopped down onto the bed and huffed in irritation. Both were silent for a few minutes until Kakashi hesitantly poke her shoulder.

"So what exactly _is_ a Gay-dar?"

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: That was...kind of long. Huh. Not bad. **

**Review please.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yes, yes…it's been a while. But I'm back. This chapter is all Nami's P.O.V.**

Needles to say, I had taken a liking to wearing sweats and long-sleeved shirts. But I always wore a tank top just in case it got too hot. Oh! I bet you're curious about what happened after the hospital incident, huh?

Not much, really. Yoshino-san picked me up from Kakashi's apartment, then Shikaku fussed over me. Shikamaru was the only sane one and offered to take me out to lunch. Did I ever mention how much I love Udon? Best food in the world next to Pocky. The little restaurant we went to was packed with shinobi, which figured since they always got the best food off-duty. Damned prejudiced if you ask me.

Anyway, I met the rest of Team 10. And wow, Asuma was still alive. That was a shocker, but I kept it hidden. Didn't want to offend the nice sensei who had just offered to pay, now did I? And poor Chouji! He wasn't fat at all! And by the way he was naming every ingredient used in the food, he was probably a damned good chef. Good thing too; it reminded me of a sign that was hung over my cousin's stove: "Never Trust a Skinny Cook."

Damn right.

And Ino? I did not like her. Who cares if she's older now? She was still a whiny, immature idiot who nagged the hell out of her teammates. But I had to be polite for Shikamaru's sake, and engaged in a conversation about kunoichi using their bodies to complete a mission. Personally, I thought it was genius. Women using seduction to gather information sounded awesome.

"But what if you're saving yourself for someone? How could any woman accept a mission that means giving up such a gift?"

I wanted to smack this chick. I may not know much about shinobi, but I knew a hell of a lot about sex. "Well, that's easy. It's not like you can decline a mission like that. Your body is a tool for death, destruction, and information. If you don't want the mission, build up some sexual experience first. And if you find that you can't do it, turn in that head band of yours and sign yourself up for another job."

Was I creeping out the guys? Just a little. Asuma looked like the only one who agreed with me, but what he and Ino said next made me want to tear my hair out.

"How would you know? You're just a civilian."

Prejudiced poop heads. Don't tell me they had a superiority complex that mean that shinobi were better than everyone else. "Are you implying that civilians are stupid? Some civilian teenagers are well-aware of the body's many uses." Like prostitution as way to make money, but that was only a last resort. As for information…the things people will say if they're teased and pushed far enough are astounding.

Ino was giving me a dirty look. See? Totally immature. Chouji was eating, Asuma looked thoughtful, and Shikamaru…was looking at me all weird; like he really didn't need to know, but completely understood me. Odd.

I had to get out of this place. I downed my cup of tea and did a bow of gratitude towards the others, "Thank you for the meal." I turned to Shikamaru, "I'm going for a walk. I'll be home for dinner, so tell your dad to stop throwing a hissy fit."

Shikamaru coughed and looked away. It was true about his father; the minute I was back from my misadventure with Kakashi, he went into lecture mode and turned into the dad I wish I'd never gotten. "Sure thing, Nami-chan. Try not to fall out of any windows, ne?"

Why did I get the feeling that windows were going to be the bane of my existence? I rolled my eyes, "I'll be fine, so stop your worrying." His face blanched and he struggled to look indifferent. Ha! Got ya, sucker. I figured out early on that Shikamaru didn't like looking like anything other than a lazy genius.

I walked to a local park filled with children no older than four or five years old. I hated kids any older than that. Why? Five years of assisting in Day Care can do that to a girl.

"Onee-chan! Onee-chan!" A dark-haired kid tugged on my sleeve and pointed to the see-saw. "Play with us? Please, Onee-chan, please?" Oh man, how could I refuse a cherub this cute? I let her take my hand and we ran to join the other kids. I got to know most of their names as we played.

Kaya sat on my lap as we played on the swings. I now declared the girl as the dark-haired cherub. I learned that she was four years old and was in the Academy. Pity. I was hoping for a Civie, but at least I had someone on the inside. No, I was not going to use a small child to take over Konoha--not yet anyway--but I wanted to help teach a capable kunoichi. I barely knew this kid, but I didn't want her to end up like an air headed idiot like Ino, or an emotional cripple like Sakura. Was I being judgmental? Yes, but these were my own opinions so who actually cared?

Morons.

"Onee-chan, how come you aren't a shinobi?" Kaya suddenly asked and focused those bright blue orbs on me. I didn't think I could ever lie to this kid, so I shrugged and stared up at the sky.

"I don't think I could do it," _without attempting to take over the world,_ I added silently. "Kaya-chan…being a shinobi isn't all fun and games. Later on, you'll be asked to do things that you'll disagree with." Like killing people and using sex as a tool.

"Oh." She sounded so forlorn that I just had to hug her. I didn't mean to discourage her from becoming a shinobi, but she had to know.

"Don't worry, Kaya-chan. If you ever need any help, you can always ask me." I was secretly waiting for the dreaded reply of "But you're a civilian, what would you know?" Thankfully, Kaya allayed my fears by giving me a hug in return.

"Thanks, Onee-chan. You're the best."

* * *

Would you believe me if I told you that Naruto, myself, and Kaya-chan were leading several squads of ANBU on a wild goose chase? No? Let me explain.

After we left the park, I took Kaya out of a little afternoon snack. Ice Cream to be exact. We were sitting outside, finishing our treats when something big and orange shook our table, and my cone hit the pavement. Only one person could cause me so much distress in a short period of time.

"Naruto," I groaned just as Kaya offered to split the rest of her ice cream with me. "What are you doing here?" I declined her offer and slouched back against my seat.

Naruto looked upset, and just a little bit disturbed. Then again, I was busy eye-raping him so could you blame the poor guy? What would it be like if I were to tug on that wild hair while we…

"I wanted to apologize to you, Nami-san."

And I wanted to ravish him. "For what? Me falling out of a window or for ruining my ice cream?"

"For the window--I ruined your ice cream?"

"You pushed Onee-chan out of a window?!" Kaya jumped into our conversation.

"I didn't push her!"

"Well, you're standing on her ice cream!"

"That was an accident!"

"Oh, just like the window?"

"That's not the--just who are you, anyway?!"

"ENOUGH!" Ugh, they were giving me a headache with their bickering. "Naruto, this is Kaya. She's my friend. Kaya, he did not push me out a window."

"I know I didn't…but I just…I'm really sorry, Nami-san."

Aw, he looked so cute and so innocent. I wanted to corrupt him…I had the feeling that my creepy perversion would lead me on an awesome path the greatness. Oh, wait. That was my inner hentai speaking. Still…

"Kaya-chan, cover your eyes."

"Hai!"

"Why does she have to--" I acted on one of my man impulsive urges. I kissed him…quite seductively too, if I might add. And to my pleasure, he kissed back! But…he broke it off real quick and stared down at me. No way was I going to let him talk just yet! I kissed him once more.

"I forgive you, _Na-ru-to kuuun…_" I dragged out his name in the patented pending fan girl voice. Yes, fan girls have different voices and we use them whenever it's needed.

Kaya took her hands off her eyes and blinked up at us. "Can I look now? Why is Onii-chan all red? Onee-chan, you look…scary, but happy at the same time."

Wow, she didn't miss a thing. I so loved this kid.

"Can we do something fun now?"

I laughed and patted Naruto's head. "Sure thing, Kaya-chan." I turned to Naruto with a smug grin, "Ya wanna take all the writing utensils from Intelligence and Interrogation?"

_That_ was why we were on the run from ANBU squads. Not for the pencil stealing…just the breaking and entering.

…and maybe TP'ing several offices…

Anyway, Naruto took care of the problem and used henge on several dozen kage bunshin. Meanwhile, we took Kaya home to her mother, who laughed at the three of us. Did I forget to mention we were covered in ink and had bits of toilet paper stuck to us? She made us clean up and treated us to a dinner of vegetable ramen and takoyaki. She was so nice and I even think she even surprise Naruto because he asked her why she didn't hate him."Why? Well because the Kyuubi didn't do anything to me, personally. And besides, I don't have that 'Will of Fire' village pride. I'm originally from Lightning Country."

"Really?"

"That's so cool!"

"What's it like?"

She chuckled and held up a hand to halt our questions. "Hold on there, kids. It's getting dark and Kaya has to get to bed." Our shoulders slumped in disappointment. "But if you pick up Kaya from the Academy tomorrow," we perked up at that, "I will answer your questions."

"Aw right!" Naruto and I high-five'd, making Koriko and Kaya laugh. We thanked them for the meal, and left with a smile.

* * *

I got another lecture from Shikaku-san. He really _was_ worried about me when I came back later than I said I would. And he was a little…I don't know the word…upset? Or entertained? Well…let's just say he knew about my little excursion today and didn't know if he should approve or scold me for my antics. Thank God Yoshino-san intervened with an offer of green tea ice cream. Good thing, too, because Shikamaru walked in and said we could on the verandah outside.

"So tell me about your adventures today, Nami-san."

Wow, who _didn't _know about that?

I started from the beginning and told him about the park with all the genin-in-training. I told him how Naruto apologized and how I forgave him.

"And then you decided to steal all the writing utensils? How did the three of you even get inside?"

I could help but snicker, "Ventilation system." Oldest trick in the book. If you couldn't get in through the front door, find a vent and start crawling.

He stared at me with a blank expression. "How did you guys get out?"

I grinned, "Back door. Naruto picked the lock with a pen."

And that's when it happened. Shikamaru, the quiet and lazy genius of Konoha, burst into laughter.

**A/N: Mother of God, I can feel my wrist twinge in pain. I'll see if I can get the next chapter out tonight or tomorrow morning.**

**Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

The following morning, I woke up with the most awesome idea, so I literally jumped out of bed and was out the door in seconds. I was on a mission, so I didn't think twice when I sprinted for the bathroom just as Shikamaru was about to go inside.

"Nami-san!"

I locked the door and shouted my apology, "Sorry, but I got stuff to do today too, ya know!"

"Na-a-a-m-i-i…" I heard him groan from behind the door. "Fine, but don't use all the hot water, okay?"

I decided to be nice and used only lukewarm water. That, and I showered in a record five minutes flat. Mind you, I was practically freezing my tushy off and ran like Hell back to Shikamaru's room to get dressed. Thank God he wasn't in it because I dropped my towel and ran for the pile of clothes that I had thrown onto the bed. What? I'm lazy. I was also shivering as if I was dropped into the Atlantic.

"Nami? Are you done? I need to get dressed." I groaned. Damn men and their two minute showers. "Gimme a minute!" I yelled as I pulled on a pair of green panties with pink lollipops on them. I shimmied into one of Shikamaru's pants while putting on a bra. I grabbed one of my grey tank tops and threw on one of his mesh shirts since my skin was still too damp for a long-sleeved shirt.

"Na--Are those my clothes?" I pretty much ripped the door off its hinges and barreled past him. "Thanks for the clothes otouto-kun!" It was accurate of me to say it; last time I checked, the Rookie Nine were only sixteen years old while I was days away from eighteen.

I nearly fell down the stairs in my rush as I finger-combed my hair. "Yoshino-san? I'm going out to visit Koriko-san!" I didn't wait for her reply as I slipped on my geta and left the house. I heard Shikamaru's indignant shout just as I turned the corner. Guess he noticed the lack of change in his coin bag. I didn't borrow much, just enough for some supplies.

I looked around to see if I could ask anyone for direction. Luckily, what looked like someone wearing an Akatsuki cloak strolled on by. I so wanted one of those hats; it would help hide the horrendous mess that was my hair. So I did what any red-blooded fan girl would do; I ran over to him and tugged on his cloak.

"Excuse me, sir--Oh, wow, where can I get eyes like those?" Who knew the Renegan was so trippy looking?

He stared down at me in wonder and it completely embarrassed me. "Oh, I'm sorry that was rude. Um, do you know if there's an Arts and Crafts shop nearby?"

"Child, do you have any idea just who I am? Obviously, I'm not of this village, so how would I know where such a shop is located?" Drats. He really did have a point. And I knew exactly who he was too.

"Ah, you're right. Sorry to bother you, Leader-san." I watched his eyes widen in surprise and I chuckled. "I won't tell if you won't tell."

He then did something that was very un-Leader like. He smiled, and gave me his hat. I stared at the hat in my hands like it was the greatest treasure in the world. And to a Narutard like me, it damn well was. Hell, I nearly cried with joy. "Thank you _so_ much!"

"You are a strange one. What's your name?"

I really, _really_ wanted to hug him, so instead I replied, "Nami."

He actually reached out and ruffled my hair. "I'll remember that. Sayonara, Nami-san."

And then _poof!_ He was gone.

"Well," I hugged the hat to my chest, "that was productive." Now what was I going to do? "I guess I'll just have to wing it." Putting on _my_ new hat, I walked along the street and approached a nearby row of shops. I was pretty sure that the Yamanaka Flower Shop was here somewhere. I needed some kind of transparent paper so I was sure that they had some. And maybe some paper clips…and probably something hot enough to pass as a welder.

Oh, poo. I was screwed.

A good four and a half hours later, my eyes were drooping, my hair was singed, and my fingers were rubbed raw. All in all, my project was successful. I had made a makeshift paper lantern using paperclips, hair-ties, and the Yamanaka kitchen stove. Maybe this was the reason why such things were made by professionals. After all, snapping off a large stick of bamboo from over the fence left me with a hell of a lot of splinters.

But one thing I disliked with a passion was asking Ino where the Aburame residence was. The blond bimbo obviously did not like me and refused, but drew me a map instead. Oh, the map helped alright, but I had the worst sense of direction in history. As in, I was lost within the hour, wandering the streets with my lantern. God, it was pathetic, and it wasn't even dark yet! How could it be hard to find a house full of bug users?!

"Can I help you?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin! Why do people say stupid shit like that? I mean really, is it physically possible to jump out of one's skin? Orochimaru's immortality complex briefly crossed my mind, but I found myself shuddering in disgust. Looking up at who was speaking, I was relieved that the collar of the person's jacket went up to their nose. Sweet. I wasn't completely screwed.

"Ano…Aburame-san, you know a lot about bugs right?" I think he nodded; I could never tell if he did or not, so I continued, "Do you know where I can find clusters of fireflies?"

He stared at me and my lantern, as if putting two and two together. "Why not use a candle?"

And burn up all my hard work?! "I can't. I want to go catch fireflies with Naruto-kun and Kaya-chan." Just how old was I? Then again, I never had the chance to run around after dark to catch fireflies. When I think of it, I doubt even Naruto got the chance. Oh, but Aburame-san was speaking again.

"You'll find enough of them nearby the Hyuuga Clan District, but don't stray too close. The Hyuuga Clan can be rather…terse when conversing with civilians." What an understatement. Terse? Just who was he kidding? I bet that they were just downright hostile!

I bowed politely and took off towards Koriko and Kaya-chan's house. "Thank you, Aburame-san!" I called over my shoulder. What? That's what I call being polite. Err…sort of. I sure wasn't graceful either. If you counted me tripping over a crack in the street graceful, then you my friend, have issues. Picking myself up, I turned and noticed that he was still watching me. "Uh…which way is the Academy?" I asked and he pointed to the East. Right. "Thank you again, Aburame-san!"

*~*

Ugh. I don't know how normal people did it, but I did not have the endurance for this. Life would have been easier if I could leap across rooftops like it was nothing, but noooo…I was stuck walking. Walking and removing splinters was not my idea of fun, no sir-ee. Suddenly, it felt as though my legs gave out and I was soaring through the air. "Whoa, what the--"

"You looked like you could have used a lift." Ah, Naruto. I should have known he'd find me. Then again, I was most likely more than late to picking up Kaya-chan. Naruto must have sensed how I was feeling because I felt his hands squeeze my calves. "Don't worry, today is shuriken throwing, and that always runs late."

I sagged against him in relief. "Oh, good. I didn't wan her feeling like I forgot about her," I spoke against his blond spikes. Sure, they were spiky, but they were surprisingly soft. Curious, I ran my fingers through his hair and let out a shriek of surprise after my nails just barely scratched his scalp. I was falling! "Oof!" Oh, never mind. He caught me again. "Naruto-kun," I whined, "Why did you drop me?!" He had caught me bridal style so I could talk to him face-to-face.

He was blushing. _Ohhh…_ "Nami-chan, don't…" he swallowed as though he was struggling to speak. "Just don't play with my hair when we're moving, alright? It…distracts me." Did he have the same trigger to arousal like I did? I would've pulled his hair to find out, but I didn't feel like falling to my death just yet.

"Okay, Naruto-kun," I said with a small smile and kissed his cheek for the Hell of it. Oh, he didn't drop me this time, but he did squeeze me to him to the point where I felt dizzy. And I mean dizzy in the good way. Aw yeah!

When we arrived at the Academy, there was no sign of Kaya or any Academy students. Naruto led me to a swing and said that we were still early. I recognized this swing from volume one of the manga. Naruto had sat here and watched his classmates become genin after failing for the third time. How sad…

I gave a surprised squeak as the swing moved forward. I felt Naruto's comforting presence at my back and relaxed. I almost forgot the lantern still clutched in my hand until Naruto flicked it. "What's this for?"

I wiggled it and smiled as I removed my hat. Tilting my head back, I stared up at him with a lazy grin. "How do you feel about catching fireflies after dinner?"

"Fireflies?" The poor guy looked so confused. "Why..?"

I poked his chin. "For Kaya-chan, you ding dong." Good grief, this guy was hopeless.

He scowled and poked my sides with his fingers. "Who're you calling a ding dong?" He kept poking me as if that could even tickle. Ha! Right. Me? Ticklish? Not in this lifetime. Still staring up at him, I gave him one of my best smug smiles. "Did I mention that I'm not ticklish?"

I let out a shocked yelp as my hat went flying and Naruto's knuckles were digging into my scalp. Oh, hell no! I hadn't gotten a noogie in ages! "Itai!" I pushed at him ,but he wouldn't stop and he just kept on chuckling. _Why you little…_ Twisting around on the swing, I launched myself at him and put him in a half-assed chokehold. _Take that, Blondie! _Giggling now, I returned the favor and showed no mercy as he tried to grab me. But the bugger managed to flip me over his shoulder and white lights exploded in front of my eyes. Hmm. Maybe I wasn't as healed as I though I was. And Tsunade _did_ say to take it easy for a few weeks. But wow, why was it so dark now?

"_What_ is going on here?!"

I looked up from where I was and saw Iruka-sensei. And boy, did he look pissed. And considering where my face just was, I couldn't blame him.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto didn't even sound the least bit guilty. "We were wrestling and waiting for Kaya-chan." I swear, only Naruto could give an explanation like that and get away with it.

"Onee-chan! Onii-chan!"

I knew that voice…and it was getting closer. Pushing Naruto aside, I looked in the direction of the owner of the voice and grabbed Naruto to place him in front of me. Kay was running towards us, and she brought friends. I'm guessing she was now very popular after yesterday's adventure.

"Nami, what're you--" He actually tried to push me in front! "Nami-chan, _move!_"

"Too late!"

*~*

**Iruka P.O.V.**

I was just making my rounds, checking for students who might have ditched class, when I swore I could have heard my favorite student at the front of the building. Why would he be here? Konohamaru had graduated a little while ago. I turned the corner and I knew my jaw dropped. Naruto was with a girl.

…a girl who's face was pressed against the front of his pants!

_Of all the indecent…_I made my way to the tree with the swing, thinking of all the possible lectures I could give him.

"_What_ is going on here?!" I used my serious teacher voice, the one reserved for especially disruptive students.

"Iruka-sensei! We were wrestling and waiting for Kaya-chan!" I really wanted to be angry with him, but when he mentioned little Kaya, I couldn't help but smile. The poor child wasn't born in Konoha, so she had a hard time making friends. It wasn't until yesterday, after her little trip with Naruto and a civilian, that the other children directly approached her for friendship.

"Onee-chan! Onii-chan!"

Ah, and there was Kaya now…with what looked like the rest of the class. Immediately, the girl who was with Naruto pushed him in front of her.

"Nami, what're you--" It was almost comical to see Naruto panic at the stampede of children heading towards them. "Nami-chan, _move!_"

"Too late!" The girl shrieked as the two of them were affectionately dog-piled by about a dozen or so four to five year olds. It was actually kind of cute.

If you ignored the groans of pain.

*~*

**Nami P.O.V.**

I hurt.

That's all I have to say. Naruto's elbow got ploughed into my stomach, and one of the kids was sitting on my hair. Kaya had landed on top of Naruto before the herd of children joined her. I was pretty sure that after today, I'd be covered in bruises. But with the way all the kids were giggling, it would be worth it.

**A/N: Another chapter done! I'm working on Magic Me Away at the moment, so I need at least 1 more review for this story and I'll get back to it.**

**Review please.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Initially, I didn't there would be a pairing in this story, but I've changed my mind. I'm still writing this for my own amusement and for anyone who would like to read it.**

Was I in trouble?

Why, yes, I was. Deliciously so. Apparently Shikaku didn't take my nonchalant way of saying "I'm going out to dinner with Hatake Kakashi" too well. In fact, the man was absolutely livid. It certainly didn't help that Yoshino insisted that I should wear a shorter skirt while she was braiding my hair. Did I mention how awesome of a mom figure she was? Every little suggestion she made had Shikaku looking like he was about to have an aneurysm out of sheer rage. I could even hear Shikamaru's exasperated sigh from the couch, followed by a mumbled "Troublesome."

"…oh, and wear the thin camisole under that sweater. It's warm tonight and Kami knows the weather will make you that much more appealing."

I was suddenly under the impression that Yoshino desperately wished I was the daughter she never had. Then again, she was behaving like the mother I wish had raised me. Although…I had the feeling that she wasn't going to be expecting any grandbabies from Shikamaru anytime soon, so I had to tread carefully with tonight's date. And it's not _really_ a date. More of an "I'll keep Naruto from being too obnoxious if you treat me to dinner" kind of arrangement.

There had been some threats to burning Icha Icha.

"Now, Nami…" Shikaku looked infinitely uncomfortable as he shuffled his feet while trying to look down at me. "I know you feel indebted to Kakashi for rescuing you from that man at the hospital, but he's not the most…virtuous of shinobi. If he suggests or makes you do anything you're not comfortable with—"

Shikamaru was making a strange noise from the couch that sounded a lot like he was having a seizure and foaming from the mouth.

I stood up from the stool where Yoshino san was fixing my hair and hugged Shikaku. "Don't worry, Dad. I'll make sure to kick him in the family jewels if he tries anything." I felt his hand ruffle the top of my head and then he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"I can have Shikamaru tail you just in case."

"Shikaku san, no! That's such a violation of privacy!" I pushed him away and laughed. "And besides, I think you would ruin Shikamaru's own dinner date with Ino."

I didn't even wait for Shikamaru to react before I grabbed the jacket out of Yoshino's hand and ran out the front door.

"NAMI!"

* * *

I ended up following a path to a rice ball shop that Kaya had shown me earlier this week. I figured it would be a neutral place for a shinobi to treat a civilian with dinner. I wasn't stupid; I knew there weren't very many shinobi/civilian relationships in the series. Well, besides Shikamaru's mom and I think maybe Ino's mom.

Anyway, there I was wandering down the familiar route wearing a knee-length ruffled black skirt and a fluffy navy blue sweater that would have left my shoulders bare if not for the black spaghetti straps of my camisole. I was definitely grateful for the black suede ankle boots Yoshino bought for me the day before; that and the blue legwarmers the same shade as the sweater were a nice touch. But _brrr _was it chilly tonight. I felt envious of the other civilian girls I saw, walking with their friends or with their significant others. I had gotten used to traveling by myself; after all, one of the ANBU Black Ops were never too far away. Sometimes I would catch glimpses of them out of the corner of my eye or at least I think I would.

"Yo," I paused my wonderings when I heard his voice. Only one man could sound that awkward and that lazy at the same time. I turned around and was more than surprised to see him without his jounin vest on. I mean, dayum…even way back when I read the manga in book form versus online, I don't even remember him not wearing it. But lord almighty…I think I now have a thing for men in turtle neck sweaters. Especially the kind where I can see their abs…_that_ defined.

Mmm...Mmm…mm!

Scrum-dilly-um-cious right there.

"Nami, could you not stare so…intently?" I tried not to giggle while he scratched the back of his head nervously. I honestly couldn't blame him. Eye raping men I deem worthy of being drop dead sexy usually get my intense—if not lecherous—stares.

"Heh," I smirked and put on my best smile, "Sorry Kakashi. I just can't help but stare at guys I find attractive." Oh, oh, _oh_. Did the infamous Copy Ninja just _blush?_

Nah. I think I was seeing things.

"Well…are you hungry?"

"Mm, a little bit." I turned on my heel and tilted my head back to look at him. "Let's go get some rice balls." I didn't bother to try and reach for his hand. Every fan girl worth her salt knew Kakashi was _not_ a touchy-feely person.

…no matter how much we wanted him to be.

"So…" I also was well aware that he wasn't the best conversation starter. "How was your latest mission? Or did the Hokage assign you another team of children to teach?"

His one-eyed stare nearly unnerved me before he spoke. "I keep forgetting you live a shinobi family, Nami. Otherwise I would have asked how you knew that."

"Asuma sensei told me how you love to fail your students."

"I don't exactly_ like_ to fail them. They just show a lack of potential to be something better."

"You mean like Naruto, Sakura and…never mind."

I noticed the conversation went sour before I even finished my last sentence. Oh, well. Everyone knows that history is doomed to repeat itself. Go figure the Sandaime Hokage's genin team would get reincarnated into the only team Kakashi ever passed.

"Ah, we're here."

Damn it…I actually felt guilty for bringing up the Duck Butt Emo King…well, I didn't really. But still…Kakashi was a fellow pervert in crime. "Ano…Kakashi, I didn't mean to…to bring up a sore topic. Shikaku san told me about what happened…and it was insensitive of me to—" A flash of red caught me off guard and I could only blink at what looked like a thin red curtain fall around me. "W-what…Kakashi?"

"You looked cold," his hand was so close to my face that I tried not to blush. I really, _really_ tried not to. But he lifted the end of the scarf to brush against my cheek and I swear I lit up faster than a Christmas tree. Mentally, I shook my head and gave him my best smile. "Thanks, Kakashi. I've always wanted to have a scarf as pretty as this." Was he planning on giving it to me anyway? Well, either way. I got myself a fancy new scarf.

"Let's go eat."

"Okay."

So tonight I learned that Kakashi has his own way of speaking. He's always been a man of few words from my perspective. And his way of dodging conversations was his way of actually conversing.

Funny that. Throughout dinner, we talked little; actually, we talked with our eyes rather than with our mouths.

"You know, Kakashi," I sipped my tea and looked him dead in the eye, "you don't look a day over at least forty." I enjoyed watching his eye tighten in what I thought looked like annoyance.

"And you don't look a day over twelve." Oh, did I detect irritation in his voice? Lovely.

"Hm, that's the joy of looking young I suppose." I quirked my brow at him and smiled. "That would make you the pedophile on this date."

I swear there was nothing more satisfying in that moment than watching him choke on the tea he was drinking the second my words registered in his mind. I just sipped my tea and stared at him through lidded eyes that I hoped were showing my amusement at his reaction.

"Date, huh?" He said after he cleared his airways of tea.

"Mm-hm. Cradle robber," I whispered with a smirk before I started laughing. I couldn't help it; he didn't look amused at all. Or…wait. His shoulders were shaking and..._Oh my God he _is_ laughing!_ Or at least chuckling nearly silently.

"So you _can_ do something human like laugh a little." I was infinitely curious now. As a fan of Naruto, I had always wanted to know more about the mystery that was Hatake Kakashi. The inner romantic in me wanted to know who comforted him when he got home. If there was anyone to comfort him in general.

Gah. I had to stop reading all those Mary-Sue type stories. Or at least stop remembering them. I mentally slapped myself. This was just a friendly dinner. Friendly!

"You tend to trail off into your own mind a lot, don't you?" He reached across the table and tugged at the end of one of my braids.

"Ah…oh, shush." I turned my head away and reached into my pocket for some money that Yoshino san gave me. "Are we ready to go? Shikaku san wanted me to come home early."

"So no more adventures for you, then? You know, among the shinobi ranks, you and Naruto's trip through Intelligence & Interrogation has become infamous. How you managed to get toilet paper hanging from the ceiling of Ibiki's office…what were you thinking?"

"We were thinking we needed something fun to do for once." I blurted without thinking then thought over what I had just said, "But we probably could have done something different. It was just a spur of a moment thing, but now that I think of it…if a civilian, a genin, and an Academy student could get into that place, what does that say about the security there?"

I think I said the wrong thing because Kakashi became deathly still and was looking at me…uncomfortably. Almost suspiciously.

_Oh, crap._

"Sometimes I wonder just who you are, Nami. To appear out of nowhere and infiltrate the village and a shinobi clan home."

I felt my heart starting to gallop. Surely, he couldn't think that I was a spy? I don't know how I got here and I wouldn't be able to explain everything I knew.

"Ow!" He grabbed my hand in a harsh grip and his single visible eye was narrowed and almost angry at me. "Kakashi, please, you're hurting me. _Stop._" Ow. I was sure his grip tightened to the point where I felt a lack of circulation in my wrist. I think for the first time since I've been in the village, I actually felt fear.

"Just what do you have to hide, Nami? You befriended Naruto and have already integrated yourself as friend to both civilians and shinobi." He looked so serious that I will admit I was more than frightened. This wasn't the man I tried to be friends with just because I wanted to. I tried to think rationally from his point of view, but the sound of my heart pounding in my ears wouldn't let me. I didn't see his other hand move to form seals, but next I knew I felt nauseous and I was in his apartment. Oh, my God if this is what the Shunshin always felt like there was no way in Hell I'd ever want to be a ninja. Nausea was something I hated feeling with a passion.

"Ouch!" Kakashi grabbed my chin roughly and forced me to look up at him. _I will not throw up on Kakashi; I will not throw up on Kakashi._ And damn it, I was better than this. I wasn't raised to just let people walk all over me. Biting my lip, I gathered what courage I could find—it was more anger, than courage now that I think of it—and pushed him away from me.

"Damn it, Kakashi. You're scaring me! I made friends with Naruto and with Yoshino-san and Kaya and her mother because they're like a family to me! They're all I've got since I've been here and I won't let you make me feel like I'm using them for some nefarious purpose. You…you damn jerk!" I shouted at him and threw the first thing I could get my hands on.

It happened to be one of his favorite books. I turned to look behind me, and oh, look. More of his favorite books. I couldn't help if I was being childish, but I was angry and hurt and…

"I hate you!"

I threw all his books at him and I didn't care that he just swatted them aside. I knew he was walking towards me, I could feel the vibrations in the floor. I was just so damn upset with him for saying what he did that I didn't care. And damn him for almost making me cry!

What felt like my own righteous anger made me move and I couldn't help what I did next. My palm stung from where I slapped him but I don't care. I don't even care that he grabbed my arm again and that he was pulling me towards him.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled and when I fell against his chest, I gave up trying to push him away and just kept myself still. I had to stop acting like this. I wasn't a baby so I needed to stop throwing a tantrum just because he jumped to conclusions. "God, you're paranoid," I mumbled and stared down at the floor.

I wanted to go home. And surprisingly not the home I'd left before arriving here. I wanted to crawl onto Shikaku-san's spot on the couch. And I wanted Yoshino-san to comb my hair and tell me the latest gossip she picked up at the market. And then go on a walk with Shikamaru where we would bump into Chouji and then Naruto so we could all go get ramen together.

I hadn't realized he had let me go until he took a step back and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "I apologize. Maybe I am a little paranoid."

"A little would be an understatement of the year, Kakashi."

"Things have been…a little tense recently. Naruto and I bumped into an old friend while on a mission. He left us a warning to watch who we made friends with. And the only new person to make friends with happened to be you."

I scoffed and kept my eyes from staring at his face. "I think you're one of those people that are constantly on the line between paranoid and stupid." Sighing, I finally looked up at him and prepared myself to speak when he lifted my hand.

"K-Kakashi," I began, "I was wondering if you could take me home now?" I stifled a gasp when he lifted my wrist to his masked lips and brushed the skin gently.

I'm pretty sure that in Kakashi Speak, that was an apology.


End file.
